In the mist of my thoughts, I stumbled upon something that I'm always asked. Either from my peers, parents, extended family, or my brother, It is one of the most-I wouldn't say prevalent but-important question one could ask a guy who is becoming a young man. That question of course is, "What do you like in a girl?"
Let's take the mall for instance. Now keep in mind, the question is formed and asked in many ways. So back to the mall scenario, I'm at the mall with my friends and we are good looking guys and wear nice clothes. So we get spotted, we spot girls, the same routine every time. Anyhow, one of my friends (not to call anyone out) would say, "yo, look at that girl over there." So I'd look, and he would then say, "she's got a nice (something external)." We're all like yeah, that is nice or an equivalent.
Now for me, looks aren't everything. From experience, I know that cute can get ugly really fast, hot gets cold and stale but beauty is always constant. Because there are more qualities to "Beauty" than there is to "cute", or "hot". Looks help, but here mental and spiritual attributes are more vibrant than their physical counterparts. To me, the ratio of External to Internal is about roughly 30% to 70% because anyone who has had or is still in a long relationship knows that looks aren't everything- there's more to a girl than that.
Now keep in mind, any girl who is reading this, this can apply to guys, but as a disclaimer, because I'm a guy, this is geared toward guys. So without further ado, lets begin to decipher the other attributes of a girl that I am attracted to and everyone else should be too.
What is Beauty?
Beauty:
- the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.
- an individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm.
- In its most profound sense, beauty may engender a salient experience of positive reflection about the meaning of one's own existence.
(courtesy of Merrian Webster, Dictionary.com)
Instead of boring you with countless definitions of "Beauty", I provided 3 solid ones that contribute to this piece of my note.
As stated before Beauty has many attributes other than Physical Attractiveness. It covers the sense of well- being one has when interacting with this person, looking at this person or even the thought of that person exhibits that sense. For those who are married, or in a long relationship (both should be stable and happy otherwise, it wouldn't be in either of those stages.) can attest that thinking of their spouse or significant other makes them smile. Yet even with beauty, we have only touched the tip of the ice berg.
We must delve deeper yet again.
Internal Attributes
Personality
The Personality of a girl makes up 100 percent of what I look for in a girl internally and externally. Why? In the broader sense of the term, Personality is the embodiment of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. It's the body language, the way she speaks, her confidence (or swagger), her optimism, her spiritual view, her intelligence, her wit, everything. When I spot these great characteristics in a girl, that's when I say, "that's who I want to be around." It doesn't necessarily mean that I want to be her boyfriend, but it applies to wanting to be her friend as well. (The other type if relationship will be talked about in another post.)
As I digress, with a strong positive personality and great looks (it's a plus), you know you have a girl of class, style and regality that could be considered both beautiful and sexy.
Body Language Is KEY!
Everything from her gestures to her walk is key into deciphering what kind of person she is. This is also how I detect if someone is either "cute", "hot" or "beautiful". Now this is a subject all in itself. But for the sake of this already long note, I'll shorten it up as much as possible only getting the main points out.
The Walk:
- Displays Confidence, Self-Esteem and Drive.
A confident girl is a girl who will have your back no matter what. She will fight for you if you can't, she will speak up when she or yourself is being wronged, and a girl with confidence has no limits. This attributes to her Self-Esteem and Drive. A very positive girl who is true to herself has the power to do anything. And that in itself is powerful for a girl to have. Not just for school or work but for relationships too. These qualities are invaluable and infectious.
The Hands:
- Displays Sincerity and Honesty.
Sincerity and Honesty are also invaluable and will help in being successful. for a girl to have this, she has the ability to call out someone who is wrong, unfair, rude or an equivalent. She is trustworthy and follows through on her goals. No one wants a to be around someone who is dishonest.
The Arms and Facial Gestures:
- Displays Emotions (Happy, Sad, Solemn, Angry, etc.).
This is self explanatory so on to the next one.
The Eyes (gaze):
- Displays Personality traits (Domineering, Shy, Shallow, Fierce, etc.).
A girl's gaze can be intimidating but it is one of the most regal aspects of a girl too. Looking into a girl's eyes can reveal ALOT about them. It tells you if they are shy, shallow, fierce (very confident- could be dangerous), Domineering (bad. in a relationship, we should be partners not Super-villain-henchman.) and many other traits.
Conclusion:
Kind of a weird way to end this note, but At the moment, I've lost a bit of my train of thought. So with that said, this is part one of a two part note talking about what I like in a girl. So I leave you with this, "What kind of girl do you like?" and for girls, just substitute "girl" for "guy".
Part 2 of "What Do You Like In A Girl" coming soon.
